Humble Pie/Torte

A couple of years ago, my good friend Dorothy gave me a subscription to Cooks Illustrated online.  It’s an online cookbook…but so much more.  For those of you who are familiar with the outfit, you know it reads more like a scientific journal than Southern Living.  Its meticulous instructions sometimes seem unnecessary, but then beauty occurs.  Let me give you an example.  One time I was making the crust for a raspberry torte.  The recipe said I should mix my ingredients in a food processor for 16 seconds.  No more.  No less.  Matt and I mocked the seeming arrogance of the instructions, but when we witnessed the dough form at exactly 16 seconds, we became believers.  These instructions were trustworthy and true.

In my first 6 weeks of parenting, I realize how often I presume that this human of ours is like the raw ingredients of that crust.  I believe with all of my heart that she should be able to sleep on regular cycles, be hungry every 3 hours (on the dot), and never cry.  If I cradle her with the “right” formula, then after exactly 16 seconds, she’ll be a perfect baby.  And I’ll be able to resume the life I used to have – but now with a Gerber baby who makes everyone jealous with her precision of schedule.

I KNOW these things aren’t true…for other babies.  So why do I put so much pressure on both her and myself?  I myself am a constant work in progress.  I’m not predictable and I’m definitely not perfect.  I am finding myself in daily need of reminders that Zoe Kate isn’t either.  What’s more…SHE’S A BABY.  I want God to change me.  I don’t want to make frazzled attempts to control her and mold her into my perfect vision of a torte crust.  Dang it, I have a lot to learn about loving, particularly loving this bug right here.


6 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Pege on November 10, 2010 at 4:27 pm

    don’t worry…you already know how to love this precious little one…it’s the middle of the night that you need to learn how to like.


  2. Posted by Helen Drinkard on November 10, 2010 at 5:56 pm

    Well that post was certainly perfect!!!


  3. I love the honest post! Parenting is SO hard!


  4. Posted by Lesley on November 11, 2010 at 8:12 pm

    I love this post! When can I see you and your daughter!? That’s just crazy to me!!


  5. Posted by Dorothy on November 12, 2010 at 11:18 pm

    I love this post too! And not only because you gave me a shout out 🙂


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